I'm very much inspired lately. the fact that I'm now in my final year of med has really given me with a great drive to continue my living (exaggerated, I know).
but I'm so in love with medicine now. I mean, you'll probably be hating the thing you're doing now but seeing other people (or colleagues) enjoying the same thing you're doing is such an eye-opener. why can't I be very much inspired like him/her? working his/her days & nights, devoted themselves with this thing/work religiously without feeling burned out? that's the thing that occurred to me. along the way toward my graduation, I've seen a lot of helpful doctors before my very eyes. they respect everyone, especially to their patients and even to their juniors like us, who are struggling as a medical student.
I don't say I hate medicine before. no, hell no. I enjoy studying medicine. it's very complicated but when you know its root, everything is just a piece of cake. but still, every little knowledge you learn from it, it feels like you're drinking the sea water. every time you drink it, it'll just make you thirsty & dehydrated. you might as well develop shock because learning medicine is just too much to handle!
but then again, let's reflect to our main intention. what is/are my MAIN INTENTION(S)?
not a religious person myself but based on my belief, every deed follows by the intention of doing it for the sake of Allah SWT, one will be rewarded with pahala. we're not living this Earth for nothing. there's a thing you gotta 'plant' now for you to 'harvest' later in the Hereafter. be it only a small deed, everything will be counted. therefore, I'm doing medicine because I want to please Allah SWT.
secondly, I'm doing medicine because I want to help people based on my CAPABILITY, depends on HIS WILL. I'm no god. I don't have the super power to heal. I'm not a healer. I'm not a bomoh either. to COMFORT ALWAYS, and to HEAL SOMETIMES. that's the motto I've learned from a respected doctor of mine. how can I help? well that's another Q. to help other people, I must myself help myself first. I have to stop complaining and doing nothing. and I need to start planning and prepared myself with the knowledge about medicine. there are mainly three (3) things I should know: I have to know about the diseases, I have to know how to diagnose such diseases, and I have to know how to manage the cases. and for anything in between, most importantly, I must deal with my patient as HUMAN BEING first and NOT as a CASE. a bad doctor will know nothing about the diseases, order unnecessary investigations (can even be expensive and invasive!) for the patient and manage very poorly. but a GOOD & SAFE DOCTOR, they'll definitely care about the patient, ease the burden of the patient and manage the patient excellently.
do remember that, every single thing that you do, YOU'LL BE TESTED. we are prone to breakdowns. there's no use to giving up. but if you have to, just spare a little time to cry yourself even if it means crying blood! every human being is liable to fragility. but if you spend a lot of time to cry yourself to sleep, when will then you wake yourself up in order to help other people? #NOTETOSELF
only a few of basic & *cliche* intentions of mine. but I believe that extraordinary things can come from ordinary origin.
are you ordinary?