Up until now, never did he feel such feeling although he was now on his late 20’s. He could only stretch both of his lips to two different sides, making a fully forced smile onto his matured-appearance face (where in fact, he is still acting like a little child).
He took time to catch his breath once again. He was trying to act comfortable though he was not. Oddly enough, he even could feel his heart skipped a beat and his pulsation seemed to reach an impossible range to his age (exaggeration). He let the air ventilate across his medium-sized nostrils and travel via his respiratory tract. His chest and diaphragm were moving accordingly, everything went, all but, in order – the only thing was, they were moving to the hilt based on high tempo and the blood circulation was in a situation where only God knew how chaotic it was. He prayed so that somewhere down the line everything would turn to be normal again, but still at this instant, he was trying to catch his breath.
The craziness finally settled down, after he sat down.
He breathed calmly. Breathed in, breathed out. Breathed in, breathed out. He seemed to be pleasured with the cycle and he finally got used with it. Then he started it (the cycle) again.
He captured a flock of birds soaring in the wide blue sky. He seized them by his naked eyes and emptied mind just to be in their shoes - tried to taste the feeling of unchained, not belonged, to anyone but himself. Freedom was the word which fit without doubt.
“I am no longer me. An absolute lonely soul - that is me now.”
In this case, lament about a lost was not a self destruction, nor a grief, but a gift.
***
P/S - everything makes sense when you take time to think and put it into words (whilst your internet is entirely been shut down!)
P/S (again) - I try to improve my writing skills so that one day I may write my own book before I die. one thing for sure, I'll admit my own mother as the editor since I always know that she is, after all, my biggest fan. oh god, I better write a Dusun novel or what, so I melt her heart even more! :P