tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13150982964763694222024-02-07T15:25:25.648+02:00it's just me with my spectacles;Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-74254948652235260252018-07-31T16:04:00.000+02:002018-07-31T16:04:44.807+02:00lost.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Why do I feel so alone in this journey?<br />
<br />
5 days to go before our program induksi, and suddenly I feel so not ready. It feels like something is eating me up inside and biting every piece of fiber in me.<br />
<br />
Less than 2 weeks after, I'll be starting my job as a junior doctor. It took me few days to finally get myself composed after I got my placement and since then I was so accepting of the fact that, "I am now a government servant and my number one job is to save people's lives".<br />
<br />
But now I am left with 5 more days and suddenly I'm stuck with some part during the process of completing my forms that I need to submit when I lapor diri. Like, is this a sign? If this is a sign then what should I do with this information? How should I react? How should I process with this kind of situation?<br />
<br />
Clearly I'm lost.<br />
I am so lost.<br />
<br />
But when you're lost then that is the point where you need to seek for help. You need to have your plan B. This is a very critical moment, all I need is to not be distracted far away from my main focus.<br />
<br />
I have plans for each day towards the day of induksi but because of this one thing, I can't proceed of what next in the list.<br />
<br />
I just hope that this is not a bad sign after all.<br />
<br />
Maybe it's one of those little things--troublesome--and the main reason of its existence is to train me on how I would handle such situation and would I be ever to cope with the pressure that comes hand in hand with it.<br />
<br />
O Lord, guide me out from this confusion.<br />
O Lord, ease my journey.</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-72465291601591288442018-01-01T11:43:00.001+02:002018-05-30T18:57:18.897+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
"2017 was just another year."<br />
<br />
I think it's one of the best years I ever had so far. Or maybe not best, just not bad. Not entirely, just a portion of it. I am grateful because some of those memories are not just some typical Kodak moments. They're special apropos the opportunity to share the memories with my loved ones. What the parts of me are the parts of them. What theirs, mine.<br />
<br />
But to get through the whole 365 days was not easy. It was a roller-coaster ride. I love roller-coaster, heck yeah. Unfortunately there were days that felt like an endless ride and it made me sick, terribly. My self confidence hit rock bottom. My anxiety messed up. And when these two happen and you can't function well, bad things happen.<br />
<br />
2017 was that. Worrying that life is becoming upside down when in fact life is just ephemeral. I always forget that, every single time.<br />
<br />
It's a new book now. Let's not make it "just another year". If I ever learned anything in 2017, probably these:<br />
<br />
- You're responsible for your own happiness<br />
- Embrace your weaknesses<br />
- Love yourself enough<br />
- The best way to have an argument is with an open heart<br />
- Be kind, always<br />
- When you start comparing yourself to other people, that is the sign that you need to reflect upon yourself and count your blessings<br />
- We are not perfect but we can work on things to achieve perfection. Practice makes perfect. And sometimes it's not about repetition, it is about persistence<br />
- The first step is always the hardest. Never discard every little achievement you've made. It's something to be proud of<br />
- Never fall out of love<br />
<br />
So 2017 was NOT just another year. It was another self discovery I had encountered and I am grateful for that.</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-33355932581829097142017-09-04T12:59:00.003+02:002017-09-04T12:59:56.764+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Me: Here's your catch! Act cool, don't be desperate. Be passionate!<br />
<br />
Also me: *acts completely the opposite*<br />
<br />
So cute meself.</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-58285665366807516312017-06-01T00:00:00.000+02:002017-06-01T00:01:45.108+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
the emotional bitchy self is here. get your shit together dear self. you yourself is important.</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-11294196266839337052017-05-22T16:42:00.000+02:002017-05-22T16:47:08.400+02:00hujan di dalam kamar.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
7 tahun lepas hari ini, aku sudah bulatkan tekad untuk merantau ke tanah orang; untuk sambung Asasi Sains di Puncak Alam. Petang ini flight aku ke semenanjung, dan abang aku yang kedua akan sambut aku di KLIA sana. Aku masih ingat petang hari itu yang mendung. Awan hitam yang menandakan kandungan awan sudah sendat. Beberapa lama kemudian, awan bakal tenat dan akan diikuti dengan tanah kering yang dibasahi hujan lebat yang membawa rahmat.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Dan petang itu, pertama kali aku lerai air mata ke pipi, dalam dakap ibuku. Dan barangkali itu juga dakap pertamaku setelah berbelas tahun di samping ibuku.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Hujan lebat telah tiba terlebih dahulu, di dalam kamar rumahku.</div>
</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-37546823456729923832017-05-19T22:47:00.000+02:002017-11-14T05:49:30.601+02:0026.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
1. I wear spectacles since I was 8 years old. I remember that my brother and I always wore my dad's specs bcs we kinda fancied the view when the floor suddenly became all hills and grooves. the next thing we knew, each of us had ours at the very young age. probably it's in the the gene (it runs in the whole family, except my eldest brother) or thanks to our curious young selves.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
2. after 17 years 'experiencing' myopic eyes - that not a single day I could live without my corrective lens - I am now specs-free. I underwent my LASIK eyes surgery last March. as a birthday present, maybe.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
3. I think my favorite color is blue.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
4. the first novel I ever read was Thanks For The Memories by Cecelia Ahern. I was not much of a novel reader back then. not until I was a bored SPM leaver.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
5. I did a part-time job as a promoter for a clothing company while waiting for my SPM results. a 9-5 job with oh-not-so-bad income.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
6. Khalid, Naz, Dayang, Hamidun. I can't believe I still remember these names! they were always my good company and also the reason why I loved doing that part-time job. I wonder how they're doing.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
7. I always hated home. but growing up studying in a boarding school and overseas, and realizing that my parents are getting older, home is the place I always long for.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
8. I am not a sport person.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
9. but I love long distance running, I guess so.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
10. not that it is Islamic-ally acceptable but if I were to have a tattoo on my body, which obviously will stay forever on me, probably I will want it to be the deepest quote I could ever think of or maybe a short poem. welp idk. but for whatever it is, I just want it to be something meaningful, not just cool.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
11. I love to sleep. like who doesn't, right? the longest, the better.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
12. I think I'm the person who claims to be a coffee lover but the kind of coffee I ever tried is just basic... or instant. like... y'know... just basic.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
13. I went to a boarding school. I still remember wearing a black round-neck shirt and my pants during the enrollment day. it's not allowed to wear a round-neck shirt though. so I wore my sweater during the whole orientation week... and a collared shirt from my roommate bcs I didn't freaking have collared shirts...</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
14. the most favorite part of my childhood would probably be having my young brother as my friend. we're only a year gap difference. but really I didn't have that much friends when I was a kid.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
15. when I was 15, I kept a journal. it was the second that I had after the one that I kept when I was 12. oh boy, I really poured my heart out, wasn't I?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
16. I made a birthday card from scratch for my crush when I was in standard six. and one day, I decided to confess to that person via writing, on a piece of love-shaped paper. probably one of the bad decisions I ever made, but I was glad I did it.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
16.1. bad decision as in 'I was plainly got rejected'.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
16.2. ...turned out, I got rejected because the person knew that someone had a crush on me. oh my god, kids. why are we so naive?</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
17. the first formal interview I had was when I was a kid. this one was for the sekolah berasrama penuh thing. I hated being abroad, so I flunked the interview. on purpose or not, I can't tell. bcs I was so sucks at that time. and the only question that I got was, "apa ko buat kalau ko tiba-tiba sesat?". clearly, I wasn't that ready to be parted from my parents.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
18. the first movie that I watched in cinema was Heart, with my sister and female cousin. it's a 2006 Indonesian film. don't judge me, I'm such a sentimental and emotional bitch. its theme song was basically the theme song for me and my best friend, Datu. a thirteen-year-old friendship, growing and getting strong.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
19. so random but just so you know, I never get an A in the regular English exams back in high school except for PMR & SPM. hah! highest I could get is a B+. I did work my ass out to perfect my English up until now and it's still sucks, as you can see. also that's why I chose an English novel in point #4.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
20. my family will always have a cat as a pet. but there's one that we loved the most and we called it Tebe'. rest in peace, Tebe' (2010-2015).</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
21. whenever I am testing the pen's ink, I'll write the letter 'R'. I don't know why.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
22. I was in all different classes when I was in high school. Mutiara, Delima, Berlian, Nilam, and then Zamrud. I planned mine just for the fifth one. also, a bad decision. I was that hardworking ass kiddo that was surrounded by naturally talented kids and geniuses. basically I literally died trying to keep up. if I were to go back to that time, I want meself to just calm my shit down. I got no one to prove wrong to. though I have that typical Asian parents, yet they still love me even if I failed, tremendously.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
23. I used to have an abusive brother. I don't think I ever told this to anyone but only a few of my friends. this was when I was a kid, at a tender age where I couldn't protect myself. also this is one of the reasons for the point #7. now that I am this old enough, it's never a problem to me. soon I realized, I am the one who needs to protect my family. but that is not the case for now, 'cause that abusive brother then is an 'abused' brother now. past is past. in fact, he is now in need of us as a family, a system that can give the utmost support he could ever get. I still remember he said he wanted to end his life because he couldn't stand it anymore, and it really breaks my heart -- to a million pieces. I love you, Abang.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
24. can't believe that I actually finished with med school. I'm now officially a (unregistered) doctor. but for the time being, I'm hopeless and jobless.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
25. I can curl my tongue.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
26. and here is currently one of my favorites:</div>
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<br /></div>
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Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-7452266788650355662017-05-15T18:06:00.000+02:002017-05-16T01:27:43.073+02:00silence is.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
silence is<br />
not you losing a word,<br />
rather it is an emotion.<br />
<br />
silence is<br />
having the solitude to be awakened by the sun rays<br />
landing on your cheeks early in the morning<br />
without an alarm clock.<br />
<br />
silence is<br />
listening to the swirling voice at the back of your head<br />
about the things you shouldn't do, or should've done<br />
basically, regretting things.<br />
<br />
silence is<br />
trying to collect and compose your self back to its old shape<br />
after only god knows how many times you shattered<br />
and it feels like destructing.<br />
<br />
silence is<br />
struggling to put out a wildfire with a handful of gasoline<br />
because your heart is no longer a spongy muscle<br />
that oozes harmony.<br />
<br />
silence is<br />
secretly hoping a storm of black clouds right above your head<br />
so you can insert your body plug to the cloud socket<br />
connecting all your emotions<br />
so you can pour them out.</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-70923871253798139132017-05-01T23:59:00.000+02:002017-06-12T06:53:40.428+02:00novo amor.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
perhaps not that we're afraid to admit, but to commit<br />
it has been difficult ever since day one, but the pain is beautiful<br />
I wish it had been easy for us, but again we've chosen a challenging trail<br />
--but I choose to stay <i>if</i>, you too, choose to stay.<br />
<br />
away from this world, if that would make it easy for us<br />
roaming around the space, wherever love has no limits<br />
illuminates us both, in the dim of doubts & all oddness<br />
--forever<b> </b>I choose to stay if, <i>you too</i>, choose to stay.<br />
<br />
but back to square one, are you ready to admit or -- <i>better yet</i> -- to commit?<br />
<br />
<i>'cause I can't wait to find out.</i><br />
<br />
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Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-12360707506082673662017-05-01T14:34:00.000+02:002017-05-01T14:34:10.868+02:00over.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
we don't push things; we just let them flow<br />
but we're racing against the clock<br />
--and oftentimes, the clock wins.<br />
<br />
we keep replaying the scene inside of our heads<br />
'cause we think we know how it goes;<br />
anything that can go wrong, will<br />
--but what if we thought wrong?<br />
<br />
we're barely alive, so we just let them be<br />
let all the chances to remain untouched;<br />
'cause things sound better in our heads<br />
--and not to be ruined in real life.<br />
<br />
<br />
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Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-77201474327899315572017-04-15T23:00:00.001+02:002017-04-15T23:00:54.579+02:00no one but your own self.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
It was in the
last October. The weather was so cold on that day ‘cause it’s been pouring heavily
since dawn. That was the day that I thought I wouldn’t be able to see the
sunbeams strike upon my cheeks radiating from the slits of the blind before my
windowpane. That was the day that I first tasted my own blood, gushing from my
old wound like <st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Niagara Falls</st1:place></st1:city>,
while trying hard to restrain myself from pain. Last time I remembered, I could
only scream my lungs out in silent manner; my lips were pursed, ergo my attempt
to reach for help was totally in vain.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">In the wake of
the moment, I could feel myself blanketed in warm arms with a voice that kept
whispering: “Don’t worry. I’ll be here as long as you want, as long as you want
me to stay.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">That was the
most comforting juncture I’d ever been in life. I had not a single care of the
world albeit of the painful wound that bled from a tender scratch.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">“Pardon me for
asking but do enlighten me if you may. Did you stitch this wound before?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">I nodded in
wonder. How could he possibly know? I already did my best in hiding everything ‘bout
this wound. The scar wasn’t even visible and the fact that I took a good care
of every single thing in the process of healing this wound made me doubt myself
to bits. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">“Not that I see
it through the wound but I can see it through your eyes. Crystal clear eyes.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">No one ever
noticed but him. Though there were times that I felt that I was like an open
book but people refused to read me. There were also times I could somewhat feel
that people could read my mind when I was in my lowest point of life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">“You’re fragile,
aren’t you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">Before I shook
my head in denial, my chin had been drawn up and down by his bare hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">“Now listen to
me. People can hurt you; they can even let you down. They only see you based on
what they want to see. They can’t stand looking at you being all bright and
wise so they decide to make you feel bad about yourself. Therefore, don’t
burden yourself with negativity. Grow thick skin. I know you’re better than
this ‘cause I know you’re stronger, and clever. Hold on to whatever makes you
happy. In rainy days, the Sun would completely vanish but that won’t stop it
from going out and exuding its positive vibes, right? Did I say that clear?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">He was actually
my inner self. Someone who will always be there for me whenever I’m on the
verge of breaking down with one finger left dangling from the edge of the
cliff. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">I took a deep
breath before I expelled the air, unperturbed. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US">“<st1:city w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Crystal</st1:place></st1:city>,” I replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span lang="EN-US"><br /></span></div>
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Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-55131931009611884982016-10-24T22:28:00.000+02:002016-10-24T22:28:12.721+02:00shine my way.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I don't want to struggle for attention, I just want to be noticed.</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-16417673998693667812016-10-21T18:14:00.000+02:002016-10-23T12:13:39.251+02:00random.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I have a lot of people who doubted in me when I was in high school. even the teachers they didn't trust me in certain things (whether or not I realized I was capable and reliable at that time). stupid me that I didn't fight for my right when it was denied. I just nodded in disagree but I didn't fight cause I was naive (and I was not in power to charge anything). it's such a disgrace to myself. the fact that it haunts me until now really messes me up. but every time the memories knocked the door to my present, I denied their access. they shouldn't be here, I said. I shut them down, with every bit of my weakening strength; every fiber of my shattered self.</div>
</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-66301821079297920812016-10-21T15:46:00.000+02:002016-10-21T15:46:39.903+02:00life ticket.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
so this is going to be a quick post. just now it has been announced that the housemanship post will be changed into "contract of service" (not contract FOR service). I'm not really sure of this but my big brother asked me to calm myself down. Haha. so I did. it's not going to be THAT bad, he said. surely you all will get posted as MO later on after finishing the HO ship. *crossed fingers*</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
also that, I did google (back then) other careers I can pursue just in case I don't want to be a clinician. provided that I have a legit registration as a "doctor". I don't know man. at some point during googling, I would think thing like "what the heck mahn. medical school itself is so hard, what the hell am I thinking of quitting being a doctor? better I quit earlier before even started this shit" and something like that.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
who says medical course is special? it's now underprivileged and underappreciated by many. maybe because a lot of ppl think that "graduate jadi doktor ni macam celah gigi ja" (dude, I don't even know what it means).</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
but the truth is, someone has been sacrificing the shit out of their lives just because they wanna save an innocent life. just one, oh, just one innocent life; and that is enough - probably the only thing they want</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
because nobody can buy a ticket to get one's soul back to his body, right?</div>
</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-52980021899446897442016-08-03T18:27:00.001+02:002016-08-03T18:27:07.576+02:00deal with it.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
you don't share your struggles to everyone. all these people only wanna know what are the results from your struggles, and that is that. they want to know either you graduated from school or drop out somewhere in the middle, they wanna know if you have job and make some money (and if you do, they wanna know how many cash you make per month), they wanna know when it's you will get married (and if you're married, they ask you bout when to get kids, when to make another kids, and whatnot) and a lot of other stuff. you don't need me to mention all of them, you know how it goes.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
human beings are creatures of habit. so deal with it, the piece of shit people are gonna serve to you.</div>
</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-47903831859693538782016-04-02T21:31:00.000+02:002016-04-02T21:31:41.629+02:00adulthood sucks!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
and the only thing you think you wanna do is to cry yourself to sleep.</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-35615120898067707912016-03-11T19:52:00.000+02:002016-03-11T19:52:37.717+02:00legibility.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
it's sad to say that, we can see some medical errors happen just because of unreadable "HANDWRITING" of the medical practitioners! however, it's not right to say that, every doctor has unreadable handwriting just because they're "doctors". because I've seen most of the doctors write the case reports so neat I could die!</div>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
at least I can prove uguys by these:</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7lfFF_zfvVrtyAOO_ULyb1Z2-pcRms2n9OirYfpRh1xWmknyKKofonzSfa7Qd2AyFy0u_VdDgYhaUb8B9t2Q4jhpaHlISVwJoQdobBtxspxF7ek50Jy12JWtHs4dGVxty9xMppBSHfSPS/s1600/IMG_20160311_192524.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7lfFF_zfvVrtyAOO_ULyb1Z2-pcRms2n9OirYfpRh1xWmknyKKofonzSfa7Qd2AyFy0u_VdDgYhaUb8B9t2Q4jhpaHlISVwJoQdobBtxspxF7ek50Jy12JWtHs4dGVxty9xMppBSHfSPS/s400/IMG_20160311_192524.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgai296U1Kg8Cz0IbUGrH3JrXF8wCBZ0U5DWK6wb_AYbKgABIgfQNH88QefOc__VntSNfz43koXWK4IZLP36WGd_tEjKA40C_ozcnUqRXv-8bO4vkil26l6CHIcoQHPWyhGc7WkVfJhBOv/s1600/IMG_20160311_192558.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgai296U1Kg8Cz0IbUGrH3JrXF8wCBZ0U5DWK6wb_AYbKgABIgfQNH88QefOc__VntSNfz43koXWK4IZLP36WGd_tEjKA40C_ozcnUqRXv-8bO4vkil26l6CHIcoQHPWyhGc7WkVfJhBOv/s400/IMG_20160311_192558.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I was so sleepy that I couldn't get the "machinery" word spelled correctly!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I know these ain't gonna prove anything so much but at least you've to know that med students do have legible handwriting :P</div>
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p/s- pardon my unnecessary doodles! that's my only way to stay focus haha </div>
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Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-55609916378226089342016-03-06T16:19:00.000+02:002016-03-06T21:03:35.186+02:00ordinary origin.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm very much inspired lately. the fact that I'm now in my final year of med has really given me with a great drive to continue my living (exaggerated, I know).</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
but I'm so in love with medicine now. I mean, you'll probably be hating the thing you're doing now but seeing other people (or colleagues) enjoying the same thing you're doing is such an eye-opener. why can't I be very much inspired like him/her? working his/her days & nights, devoted themselves with this thing/work religiously without feeling burned out? that's the thing that occurred to me. along the way toward my graduation, I've seen a lot of helpful doctors before my very eyes. they respect everyone, especially to their patients and even to their juniors like us, who are struggling as a medical student. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I don't say I hate medicine before. no, hell no. I enjoy studying medicine. it's very complicated but when you know its root, everything is just a piece of cake. but still, every little knowledge you learn from it, it feels like you're drinking the sea water. every time you drink it, it'll just make you thirsty & dehydrated. you might as well develop shock because learning medicine is just too much to handle!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
but then again, let's reflect to our main intention. what is/are my MAIN INTENTION(S)?</div>
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not a religious person myself but based on my belief, every deed follows by the intention of doing it for the sake of Allah SWT, one will be rewarded with pahala. we're not living this Earth for nothing. there's a thing you gotta 'plant' now for you to 'harvest' later in the Hereafter. be it only a small deed, everything will be counted. therefore, I'm doing medicine because I want to please Allah SWT.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
secondly, I'm doing medicine because I want to help people based on my CAPABILITY, depends on HIS WILL. I'm no god. I don't have the super power to heal. I'm not a healer. I'm not a bomoh either. to COMFORT ALWAYS, and to HEAL SOMETIMES. that's the motto I've learned from a respected doctor of mine. how can I help? well that's another Q. to help other people, I must myself help myself first. I have to stop complaining and doing nothing. and I need to start planning and prepared myself with the knowledge about medicine. there are mainly three (3) things I should know: I have to know about the diseases, I have to know how to diagnose such diseases, and I have to know how to manage the cases. and for anything in between, most importantly, I must deal with my patient as HUMAN BEING first and NOT as a CASE. a bad doctor will know nothing about the diseases, order unnecessary investigations (can even be expensive and invasive!) for the patient and manage very poorly. but a GOOD & SAFE DOCTOR, they'll definitely care about the patient, ease the burden of the patient and manage the patient excellently.</div>
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<br /></div>
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do remember that, every single thing that you do, YOU'LL BE TESTED. we are prone to breakdowns. there's no use to giving up. but if you have to, just spare a little time to cry yourself even if it means crying blood! every human being is liable to fragility. but if you spend a lot of time to cry yourself to sleep, when will then you wake yourself up in order to help other people? #NOTETOSELF</div>
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only a few of basic & *cliche* intentions of mine. but I believe that extraordinary things can come from ordinary origin.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
are you ordinary?</div>
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Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-41885711908357617852016-03-05T16:41:00.000+02:002016-03-05T17:20:27.128+02:00think twice.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I cringe myself every time I heard "I wanna be a doctor because I wanna be rich!" like welcome to hell kid, welcome to hell. I might sound discouraging but first thing first, you should outline the basic & solid ideas of why you wanna be a doctor.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
well first & foremost, you shouldve known that being a doctor doesn't actually make you rich. then a lot of people be like, "but you guys own much & even more than enough, amirite?" well duh, if you wanna be rich, then why burden yourself with GREAT responsibility? can you actually handle the shit? how much do you really care bout human beings rather than your own self? would you live this medical profession life to the fullest or merely halfheartedly? do you even know what does it take to be a doctor, to be a SAFE doctor? do you think you can handle the PRESSURE, STRESS? well think twice. thats the real Q you should ask.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
do you really wanna be a doctor just because your parents forced you to? or maybe any of your relatives? friends? or because you don't have any other choice other than being a doctor? are you sure? do you wanna be a doctor because you got a lot of As during SPM? do you think you're super genius so you think that medicine is the right field for you? do you get a scholarship for medicine & that's why you're here? (lol the scholarship part. twas basically my point to get myself in medicine in the first place)</div>
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<br /></div>
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and after you're right in the medical field yourself, there'll be like a million other questions trying to surface & make you feel like shit. truth to be told, really.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
it might sound so cliche but the phrase "I want to be a doctor to help people" is really a thing. I mean, if you just say it for the sake of your interview kelayakan masuk ke medical school & you don't really mean it, well then bullshit you. it doesn't sound so wrong for me anymore (I used to say, if you wanna help people, theres a lot of ways you can choose to help people other than being a doctor) because being a doctor is ONE of the ways to HELP PEOPLE. if you genuinely wanna help people, then HELP YOURSELF first. I don't think I wanna be treated with such a lousy person & pemalas doctor because I have a mindset that you'll later neglect me as your patient. if you can't even bother to get yourself well-equipped to be a doctor, how can you manage to help other people? and to be well-equipped, I'm sure enough you know what does it take. I've met a lot of people who say aku tiada masa mahu baca buku medik yang tebal-tebal & some don't even bother to go to classes to berguru dengan orang yang ahlinya. all these things you don't do them for nothing but you do them to SAVE PEOPLE'S LIVES. for god's sake! and also do bare in mind that failure is a common thing in medicine but it doesn't mean you're a bad doctor as long as you're learning from your mistakes! </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm speaking in general but I do think that a lot of people are still delusional with the idea of being a doctor. they think they carry the pride of their family but little did they know, they're actually carrying a lot of people's lives upon their shoulders.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
it takes me ages to hit myself with the bitter truth about being a doctor. I'm still learning. I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm not in the wrong path though I still question myself "why I am here" every now & then. but I do know that there's a reason why I was chosen to be here (that I'm yet to discover) & there's NO USE to give up NOW if I don't even TRY. </div>
</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-38346807596286806732016-01-05T19:56:00.000+02:002016-01-05T19:56:28.939+02:00Precious.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I can't believe I'm going to say this but I really miss the feel; sitting in the lecture hall while listening to the professors giving their theoretical lessons with additional life lessons learned from their own experiences. Precious.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I'm such a nerd by heart. I think I better end up being an academic or something related. devoted myself with lotsa paper studies and whatnot. but yeah, it's not like what it looks like. because to be one, you have to go through the whole process from the bottom, starting from bellow. you can't just be there at the front stage, standing behind the podium bragging bout your so-called researches or 'inherited' knowledge. you need to be there and bring the audience to 'be there' with you. that's the whole point of it. that's the idea of being an academic. you want people to appreciate your hard work, not for you but for the sake of inspiring the future academic somewhere among the crowd.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
you want to contribute. you want to give something beneficial before leaving the world for good.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
I don't know mahn. why did I ever say about being an academic? I guess it's just my nerdy self speaking so pardon me.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
well to be honest, I was trying to think of other profession to disengage myself from the society but at the same time I also want to contribute and give something beneficial before leaving the world for good (mind you. I didn't copy & paste this sentence but I actually wrote it, word by word). as I grew up, I slowly lose the faith in human. hence, the idea of being an academic:</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">although you have no idea what kinda people/audience listening to your talk, there's a little hope at the corner of your heart spared for the possible non-existent; the people you can put your trust with. you wish, you just wish, they'll be there to relive your soul into the entities you have your faith in;</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">your paper studies and your life lessons stories.</span></div>
</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-23284629960122050342015-07-01T04:37:00.000+02:002015-07-01T04:37:54.621+02:00sahabat hantu.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Symptom</i> (gejala) orang yang mempunyai penyakit <i>loneliness</i> sudah pastinya mempunyai rasa <i>drop-dead lonely.</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Rasa bersendirian itu mencengkam dan membunuh diri, <i>softly.</i> </div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Bisunya sepekat gelita malam tanpa bunyi-bunyian alam.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Jeritannya sehalus bunyian hembusan nafas manusia yang sedang diam.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Loneliness is killing him softly within his dying soul. </i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Dia senantiasa berkira-kirakan apa yang bakal jadi dikemudian.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Dia seringkali mati akal dalam mencari jalan keluar disepanjang laluan.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i>Loneliness is, indeed, killing him softly within his dying soul. </i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Maka dia akur akan itu-</div>
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Dia cuma perlu dikubur dan bersahabat dengan hantu.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>***</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
Sungguh, Allah beserta orang-orang yang bertaqwa dan orang-orang yang berbuat kebaikan. {An-Nahl (16) : 128}</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
p/s- barangkali kita belum lagi cukup bertaqwa dan banyak melakukan kebaikan, lalu selalu saja rasa bersendirian. barangkali.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
|| Ramadan 14, 1436 H ||</div>
</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-63991662863792804642015-06-20T00:39:00.000+02:002015-06-20T00:39:13.625+02:00hidup namun mati.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hidup ini suatu ironi andai kata
kau hidup namun mati. Ya, hidup dan dalam masa yang sama jua kau mati. Ironi
bukan? </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Baik. Sebelum aku terus bicara
rancak, inginku bekalkan suatu pesan. Aku berniat tidak untuk mengambil tugas
mutlak Tuhan. Urusan menghukum adil manusia serahkan sahaja bulat-bulat kepada
Yang Maha Adil, yang selayaknya menilai tiap peri inci sosok tubuh manusia
– luar dalamnya, zahir batinnya, baik
buruknya – pendek kata segala-gala, serah sahaja ke Dia.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Pesan kedua, ingatan sesama. Ketahuilah,
bahawasanya aku ini jua seperti kalian. Sama-sama manusia. Beza kita, mungkin
yang jelas dan nyata adalah melalui zahirnya kita, luaran semata. Manakala
perbezaan batin atau dalaman, berbezakah kita? Itu, kalau mahu dibahas, kembali
rujuk pesan pertama. Aku malas ulas lagi berjela.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Kembali pada kalimah dalam ayat
pemula di perenggan teratas; “hidup namun mati”. Bunyinya ironi sekali.
Sekilas, mungkin ada yang melihatnya seperti kerangka manusia tak berdaging
yang hidup. Atau cadaver di muzium anatomi yang bangun daripada tidurnya yang
diganggu, allergic barangkali dengan latex lantaran glove yang dipakai oleh
individu yang meratah tubuh kekar/jelitanya.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Atau barangkali “hidup namun
mati” itu hanyalah simbolik kehidupan semata. Mana mungkin kau hidup dan dalam
masa yang sama kau mati. Heh. Aneh, sungguh aneh sekali. Melainkan kita berada
dalam ruang lingkup yang berkata hal “mati, hidup kembali”, aku yakin bunyinya
jauh dari asing. Malah ada yang punya cerita masing-masing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Aduh, macam meleret. Macam jauh
pusing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Di mana kita?—</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, ya. Hidup namun mati.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Mati dan dalam masa sama, hidup.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>***</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hidup namun mati; terasa dekat
bila kita merujuk kepada sang jantung, <i>al-qalb</i>. Seketul daging yang
letaknya di bahagian dada kiri dipelihara kemas di dalam kerangka rusuk
manusia. Punya empat rongga, memacuh darah – masuk dan keluar – ke segenap
anggota.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Siapa tahu, dalam hidupnya
seseorang itu, rupa-rupanya dia tengah menjalani hidup dalam keadaan jantungnya
mati. Hidup serba celaru, rancu. Fikiran keliru serba tidak menentu. Ah, jangan
bilang kau tidak pernah merasa begini! Melainkan kau punya hati bersih persis
salju di musim sejuk yang memutih. Hidupmu tiada pernah terkeji, suci.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Sedar atau tidak, disebabkan
matinya jantung ini, lantas kemelut memamah diri. Dikit demi dikit, jika tiada
tindakan diambil – <i>you didn’t do the CPR, no life support was given</i> –
bersedialah dengan kemurungan hidup yang kian membusut, lebih parah lagi akan
mengambil masa untuk pulih dan susut.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Dan semuanya akan berbalik semula
kepada isu “mengapa sang jantung boleh mati?” Mengapa ya? Mengapa sang jantung
ini bisa mati?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>***</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Di ruang ini, dirinya menjadi
semakin kacau bilau. Compang campingnya, kusut masainya, serabut. Namun mata
meliar seperti harimau mencari mangsa; mangsa untuk dipersalah atas mati
jantungnya.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Lalu jari manusia itu rakus
menelunjuk kepada si Masa Lalu.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Kau. Ini kau! Ini semua salah
kau! Kau punca segala-gala. Kau ialah lembah gelap yang datang menompok pada
jantung ini. Kau! Kau punca jantung ini mati. Kau keji, wahai Masa Lalu.
Melampau!”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Masa Lalu hanya mampu tersengih
melihat telatah si manusia tidak sedar diri itu. Menyalahkan entiti tidak
berkontur sedangkan salah manusia sendiri yang bergelumang dengan dosa kotor.
Goblok sungguh manusia ini. Mahu dikasihani, namun suka saja memperbodohkan
diri. Masakan Masa Lalu bertindak sebagai pelaku? Seharusnya pelakunya
selayaknya ialah manusia, yang punya tubuh cukup sempurna. Maka, sebetulnya
salah siapa?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Kemudian jari kembali rakus
menelunjuk ke ruang yang kosong. Lapang & lopong.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Tiada apa yang ingin
dipersalahkan lagi. Mereka yang dulu ada di sampingnya ternyata terlebih dahulu
mengundur diri, membawa jasad mereka jauh mara bertapak dan yang tinggal kini cumalah
ruang.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Buntu.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Walhal itulah sebenarnya jalan
untuk membawa keluar dirinya dari dibelenggu.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Ruang itu ternyata ada,
teristimewa untuk dirinya dan sang pencipta; untuk merintih dan memperdengarkan
segala kisah-kisah duka, menagih kasih & bercinta dengan pencipta rasa
cinta.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Soalnya, sedarkah tidak kewujudan
ruang itu, wahai manusia?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>***</b></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Dasarnya, hati sifatnya
berbolak-balik, dan manusia sifatnya lemah & sering khilaf. Manakala syaitan
& nafsu pula <st1:place w:st="on">kan</st1:place>
selalu datang menguji. Oleh itu, peliharalah diri, bersiap-siagalah mengawasi,
agar jantungmu tidak mati!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>***</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b>p/s- "</b>Hidup Namun Mati" ini merupakan salah satu tulisanku dalam zine Katalis (kolaborasi bersama sahabatku, Syaufiq @ <a href="http://syaufiqmujahid.blogspot.com/">Syaef</a>).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg325G4nvnOS9_yCRNWTMJsyaPSni87-OJREAzUE2jDro9cgxrRK-6r_W_WI2Z4JagvR3BJnet-05ZJ-YRoImJYSvC1Qf2bopfAsAuMbJ_hI_RoVh_ptTVGJ18mTLmeYYr5ARSNfk9dzKgo/s1600/C360_2014-12-13-13-32-08-132.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="384" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg325G4nvnOS9_yCRNWTMJsyaPSni87-OJREAzUE2jDro9cgxrRK-6r_W_WI2Z4JagvR3BJnet-05ZJ-YRoImJYSvC1Qf2bopfAsAuMbJ_hI_RoVh_ptTVGJ18mTLmeYYr5ARSNfk9dzKgo/s640/C360_2014-12-13-13-32-08-132.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-17598315300311825472015-02-28T19:14:00.000+02:002015-02-28T19:26:09.434+02:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
going to write superly random for this post:-<br />
<br />
1) I'm down with fever at the moment.<br />
<br />
2) I didn't even bother fulfilling my so-called tasks in my previous <a href="http://mohd-ikhwan92.blogspot.com/2014/09/quick-list.html">blog post</a>.<br />
<br />
3) it's 2015 already.<br />
<br />
4) currently in my 5th yr of medschool. I try to enjoy every bit while still lasts. I'm halfway through the year and end round exam is just around the corner. my favorite rounds so far would be neurology & psychiatry.<br />
<br />
5) I went to cairo international book fair early of this month. these are my <i>hasil</i> (couldn't find a word for this).<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitIyCPSK0HNK1DYL0YrlmKi_7hRC7ukKfhUYValnsQJfmAd3l9FYQFrl6JLWLX8z3UPQdTtaA0ucPVuiADUih9A_JlOUKti6IYDJX9QfrJTGi6oe714c72qAIS7fAsBRW_WhkivaVDy4M6/s1600/20150206_201816.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitIyCPSK0HNK1DYL0YrlmKi_7hRC7ukKfhUYValnsQJfmAd3l9FYQFrl6JLWLX8z3UPQdTtaA0ucPVuiADUih9A_JlOUKti6IYDJX9QfrJTGi6oe714c72qAIS7fAsBRW_WhkivaVDy4M6/s1600/20150206_201816.jpg" height="480" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
6) I'm obliged to tell how messy my life at this instant.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghC_p1L2I6-K2q7CqktgF64Lok5lkpgHoCGlwFTRo9aC6PDKN6fDygl7xw1xY3ls_6ETIGMhDUGi1rnhAJOR4z6BBPcy4X3ev-vU_qAaFO6pxnimrTiAfIGpK7OVkIyJflehW9dFM8Ioge/s1600/C360_2015-02-28-19-20-44-384.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghC_p1L2I6-K2q7CqktgF64Lok5lkpgHoCGlwFTRo9aC6PDKN6fDygl7xw1xY3ls_6ETIGMhDUGi1rnhAJOR4z6BBPcy4X3ev-vU_qAaFO6pxnimrTiAfIGpK7OVkIyJflehW9dFM8Ioge/s1600/C360_2015-02-28-19-20-44-384.jpg" height="384" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
7) I miss home.</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-9259745648732679822014-12-25T23:38:00.000+02:002014-12-25T23:38:41.658+02:00gula-gula kapas.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
cinta. dua suku kata yang bunyinya manis dititip bibir bila diungkap. bak gula-gula kapas yang datang pelbagai warna, dipegang empuk, cair di mulut- derita tiada terasa, yang ada cuma emosi bahagia yang sedang berpesta di awang-awangan selagi tiada terbatas.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
perasaan ketika bercinta itu subjektif. yang tahu, mesti pernah merasa. macam aku. OK. tipu, sebenarnya aku tidak pernah bercinta- pernah, tapi tidak berbalas.</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
#LOL</div>
</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-70294423463432250432014-12-24T03:11:00.000+02:002014-12-24T03:11:39.605+02:00adem.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
berkali-kali dia menyeru nama itu-<br />
sepi. yang menyahut cuma deruan angin adem<br />
yang membalut tubuh tatkala ia gigil digigit dingin.<br />
<br />
belan-belan jari-jemarinya yang runcing dimain-main<br />
lalu kedua-dua telapak tangannya bersanggit<br />
beku hati macam ni perlu juga berpermit! </div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1315098296476369422.post-5210578066271650722014-12-22T22:44:00.000+02:002014-12-22T22:44:59.453+02:00cranky.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="text-align: justify;">
entah salah siapa sebenarnya. samada sebabnya perut kosong seharian (ditambah dengan super power nap di sebelah petang) yang buat aku <i>cranky</i> atau lagu ini yang sebenarnya berhantu; mengamit rindu dan bermacam lagi memori dan momen yang tidak usah dikenang sebenarnya. hadir untuk mencelakakan saja hari aku!</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
dan ya,</div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
selamat tinggal emosi tidak stabil & 2014 (in advance).</div>
</div>
Mohd Ikhwan WaoNehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16009987394802649081noreply@blogger.com